then.

the ending of an essay i’d written about a month and a half ago- i’m writing it here because i like this bit :D

obviously, this is the essay whereby the last sentence had been provided, so i decided to be a little different this time around by writing a friendship story- one i had never attempted before-;

“Ten years was a duration that was both long and short, for all that had been lost and everything else that was still strong in my memories. I believed it to be true that we would never forget the first friend whom had stood by us and offered a hand during the toughest and easiest of times, an offering that had meant more than what it essentially was. Remembering the memories of when we were the inseparable duo and so full of life, a tear seeped down my cheek. Finally, Simone came into view. Time had ticked by and sickness had taken over her physical self, but when she looked up to me and smiled that same smug smile, I realized that we had never truly lost one another. Standing beside her now, I just held her hands tightly; I couldn’t say a word.”

the funny thing was though, when Pn S gave me back my book today, she smiled knowingly and went, “Sounds familiar, N.”

man, does everyone knows what goes on in my school-life post-stepping down? “-_-

——-

now?

i think it is my natural personality to somehow, harp and be stuck in the past in just about everything- past histories of everything in my life that had happened but still remain within me are proof- to be honest.

nonetheless with time, Insya-Allah i will still turn out okay :)

——-

Lifehouse had sang this statement in their song, Signs of Life and for days i had wondered if this was really the ‘right’ thing to be saying,

“I would rather be broken than afraid.”

so the other day, i asked the personal mentor about it and surprisingly, she’d agreed.

Why? i asked.

“Being broken means that at least you’d tried to do something or actually did it, rather than always being afraid… at least you didn’t stand at the sideline wondering, what if? and wishing you had actually done something or taken a stand.”

so, let’s live fearlessly shall we? ;)

——–

there is a pair of friends whom i have been observing the past two months or so, every time i’m waiting for the van to be sent home because sometimes they make it seem as if they’re living a little funny skit or something- one day, i saw (and obviously overheard since i was standing so close by) them arguing a little,

“Why won’t you talk to me, A?”

“Figure it out yourself, Sp!”

“How am I supposed to know if you don’t tell me? Did i do or say something wrong to you? A, I’m sorry!”

….then i zoned out, but the next thing i know as Sp was about to go home, she shouted,

“Although you can be very annoying, I still love you A!”

i swear this was really what had happened.

.

then sometime last week, i saw them again and this time, they were sitting side by side but not talking to one another- i thought, were they arguing again?

then when Sp had to leave, they exchanged silent byes and it was weird for me to think such but the exchange of that simple word made me realize that they probably understood each other better than i’d presumed- like a mutual understanding of whatever was hanging in the air and respecting the distance one (or both) is giving to the other.

.

yesterday, i saw them again and this time, Sp was screaming for A while standing outside of the school gate when A was clearly still inside and then later when she went out to meet up with Sp-

they looked so excited, giggling together that for a moment, i felt like uhm, why was i looking at them like i’m some kind of weirdo?

i guess… true friendships really do last-

you just have to believe strong enough, trust deeply enough, be honest enough with each other and fight hard enough for that, like with everything else;

aren’t Sp and A (sort of) proof of that?