am i counting my chickens before they hatch?

Dude: (said something)

N: (said something in reply)

Dude: Well, at least you got the overseas scholarship!! (rudely)

N: Yeah, after 5 failures. This had been my 5th, the last one.

Dude: …Oh. Well, congrats anyway.

yeah man, everyone has their own hardship and stories to tell;

i’m not an exception so for one, i do believe that yes i definitely deserve this, Alhamdulillah.

——-

fact: 10 overseas scholars from 4 000 applicants- i’m one of the 10.

fact: i’m their first transfer student scholar ever and the first in peninsular Malaysia to be heading off to the US of A.

fact: so far, i’m the only one who’s allowed to fly off to US- another scholar who’s pursuing the A-Levels had asked if she could apply to US later on and their answer to her? No. Weird much?

fact: they told her, “we only send students to US for geoscience.” Well, we all know my degree right? Environmental engineering, not geoscience at all.

so now you see why i am very, very fortunate?

that when i say “its all from Him,” i mean it 200%?

these are why and yes, Alhamdulillah, truly.

——

i might fly this December itself for January 2010 intake.

the thing is though, applying for January intake means totally axing out the ivy league hopes- but waiting for another year before choosing to fly off for the sake of the ivy leagues… CAN i even get in?

the time-frame or the school?

say the pick is the school- again this question arises: can i even get in?

and huu-haa all about it when i haven’t even signed the scholarship contract!

…but i can’t help but feel just a little bit disappointed and regretful.

-

why is it, almost always, when we’d gotten what we had always dreamed of having (so we claim anyway), the outcome isn’t all happy-happy-joy-joy?