1:16AM confessions.
it kind of feels like i’m jumping ship to another JE boyband …but nay nay nay, i’ll stay on with NEWS still for the time being ha ha ha.
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can we ever revert time, turn back so that our past can be erased?
so the people whom we’d met in the past, we could pretend we never knew them and how much- not matter how insignificant they were in our memories- they can still leave us feeling as if we’re 7, 9, 12, 13…?
there’s a reason why i’m not on Facebook-land.
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she was the girl i grew up with, probably the real childhood bestfriend- the one i’d shared countless late-night Maggie bowls with and talking till 3am when we were kids, the one who knew almost all my secrets, the one who slept next to me everytime we could and never complained about how loud i snore…
then she left high school, a year before i did.
and it kind of feels like everything changed since then.
so a year later, i left high school too.
“I didn’t know you’re in college already you know. When did you start?”
but i clearly remember telling her about this, night of my birthday.
growing up is a funny thing- when we were kids, we dreamt of all sorts of things for ourselves and about sticking together despite everything that will happen but really, we forget to take into account this:
what if it’s us who changed?
because this is what happens and as we chase different dreams now, we’re turning into different girls with different outlooks and personalities when compared to who we were back then.
like with other people, i stopped texting Hi; i don’t know how to reconnect.
i want to tell you, hey cousin, i miss you like hell.
but i don’t know how.
i still have hope though- that once we’re done differentiating into the girls we’re meant to be… hopefully we’ll be mature enough to pick up where we’d last left off, years ago.
but still, hey cousin, you know… i really miss you like hell.
2 comments so far
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No, you can’t. It’s wishful thinking to think about it. You’ll just have to deal with it. If the person isn’t that much older than you that you have to call him/her pakcik/makcik, just call him/her with the same tone you use on someone your own age. If they are ancient…. well, nothing to do there.
Humans change, and with that their perceptions change as well. Important matters might not be important anymore; priorities change; personalities change. It’s what defines human growth, especially during that time between pubescence and adulthood.
There will be one day in your life, if you wish and put some effort into it, where you’ll sit down with those you know from the past, talking about the past, how things changed, how you all changed, etc.
If those feelings and memories of you two in the past is as important to her, then rest assured, consciously or unconsciously, she misses you as much as you miss her.
hey. i don’t get what you’re saying in the first paragraph or which one this relates to in this blog? the past i referred to were in regards to friends- primary and secondary, but yeah mostly primary. nothing about any pakcik or makcik, honestly.
i do understand what you’re saying in the second and third paragraphs though. yes human change, yes we aren’t the same people we were yesterday and so on- it’s also true that maybe down the road in the future, it’ll be nice to look back to the past with a few good friends. but that’s the thing, which past does one unravel, does one laugh over coffee and giggle to? for myself personally, i’ve got some i don’t ever want to remember and aren’t other people like this as well? in this way, it only makes me human too :)
i hope she misses me too.
thanks for this though, i thought about this comment of yours overnight before finally getting down to replying!