My dearest friend, the former deskmate, said (wrote) something ridiculously thought-provoking, such wonderful young Muslim woman she strives to be now and her wisdom; Masyallah, I’m amazed. She tells me, “don’t force your heart to accept what it isn’t ready to.”
Upon reading that, I heaved a sigh of relief. “Ah, no wonder. This is it (this is why),” I thought.
I think I need to stop writing for awhile, or at least those email correspondence I do with them – I do it because of my super tendency, habit if you want to call it, to write as I think. These days, I tend to write directly to those I have in mind.
The me right now – perhaps the less that is said, the better. Silence might just be a good thing at the moment as I piece myself back together and come to accept, if I can, the things I believe I must – yet have such a difficult time doing so.
“My, my, the miles we have tread – sometimes I am still sentimental about being 17, and you 24 and the young women we had hoped we’d be in our early (mine) and (your) late-twenties. (Now here we are and how different the outcomes are) I am still digesting the fact that this same accomplice of mine is soon to be a mother, though I have no doubt you will be a great one InsyaAllah.”
The us that once was – I think I need to let them go and accept that finality.
