I’m writing this everywhere because words are finally fckn here. They’re here! They’re here! Here they are: I’ve been feeling pretty out of it, if I’m honest (I always am haha), where everything feels like they just float. If you wondered, yes I wonder often too if this is something that needs to be written … More half-light; twilight.
Feb’21 has been a strange and tender month. I grieve the loss of a friendship, hurt in the aftermath and extended silence of another, lost words in the vacuum, pushing through with the reorganization at work – some days good, other days struggling against others’ yardsticks – and more pensive than other February months as … More freedom / losses / lost words.
It has been a slow but long week at work – I have work coming, I see them, but they’re not officially kicked off yet – which means it is bad news for my mind and heart; they spiral, replaying and rehashing incidents and thoughts that should really just die. I’m writing this because Em, … More (why won’t you talk to me?)
i. I am often at my quietest, I realized, in February. Last week, for days, I had scratched my head trying to figure out, why February, of all months? Finally it came: it is the month before I turn a year older. I am always most contemplative and wistful as I look back at the … More (the poetry that is my mind right now)
Today feels like a writing day, cos my head is filled with thoughts from (another) cousin sister’s wedding. But really, all I want to say is this: I speak of this matter-of-fact: now that I am older, I wish I can find a way to be honest in a non-offending or not-sad way that I’m … More love, lack thereof | love, just the same.
Words of old, from a year ago – safekeeping here now, too: Despite my good humor last night (Mum oh Mum), I want to express another thought (the words are finally here) and I speak as a female individual – not ‘spinster’ ‘bitter single lady’ etc: if marriage is want you want in life, that’s … More “You can want marriage – but it must not be the only thing you want.”
A little story from home, for having survived a strangely long January: I write about my mother akin to breathing – natural and necessary, for years now. But I do have 2 parents and yes, I am equally close to both. I’ll be honest: Dad seldom compels me to write – because I have baggage; … More roots, melancholy.
I have been thinking of this for a week, trying to better articulate… I’m just going to go ahead: I had a catch-up call with my old housemates last weekend and on the topic of a recent webcast where my friend participated in celebration of the International Day for Disabled Persons, she mentioned absolutely hating … More On ‘Representation’ (again? yes, again).
As a longtime reader of the NYT Modern Love column, I have always imagined myself one day submitting a story and seeing it published there. Over the years, this thought has faded for 2 reasons: I love writing but do not find myself exceptional at it, and I don’t know if I would – could … More hiding my heart.
I often wonder if I have any business advising anyone – my life, like everyone else’s, is a series of winging-and-figuring-it-out – but I realized that I never say no when I’m approached for grad school perspectives. Sometimes they just want to hear how mine was – an insider perspective, so to speak – and … More To all my young, budding Malaysian dreamers at the cusp of their careers – and for everyone else starting anew;