If there’s a trait I need to work on, it’s clearly this: on a first impression basis I fall for a person way, way too easily.
He coins this pseudo-group of friends, this bunch of lonely-souls gathering, this chilling out day-and-night sessions as “a friendship summer fling,” and laughs aloud at the thought. I grinned and laughed too. But truthfully, while that is probably the reality … I sincerely do hope that this new friendship circle, especially this one in particular, will last beyond this summer alone.
This past two weeks quite frankly, I’ve been on some kind of high. The company has been so superbly fantastic that sometimes before I go to bed after another great night out I think to myself, “This can’t possibly be for long-term, for real.” Surely it feels so great now because it’s temporary and yes, we’re all lonely souls seeking company in a new setting which also so happens to be a small-town. The best way to make time pass is to be in the company of another, or a few. At least, I’ve found that to be the best sort of pastime.
And so here’s a small confession where I admit to fall a little bit in crush with yet another guy – honestly at this point and period in time, I think I am simply just fascinated by the multitude of characters and different flavors each has to offer to me, the sort of perspectives they share with me. The sort of camaraderie we form, almost like old friends yet because we’re still treading on new waters; there’s a buzz, an excitement if I may. I am a little bit in love with not just the people I have engaged with but also the entire setting. Its personal growth at its best I think and I remain humbled and open to be at the receiving end.
“I was the guy everyone wanted to be!”
“Ohmygod, I was the girl everyone wanted to be!”
More laughter. More sharing of the plentiful books we read, TV shows and movies that we watch – or he does and I know about – and more talks of music in general and loosely, the arts. We’re quite in-sync, I thought to myself. Never did I entertain the thought any further, but I did let it linger a little while longer than usual.
During the first few meets, she thought sparks were flying between the two of us. I laughed it off and said no way. She said she thought there was a point in our conversation a week ago where he looked at me meaningfully. No way, I repeated. A few days later I found out he has someone; didn’t break my heart, rather confirmed my suspicion that he was indeed so engaged by me because he was sincerely fascinated and taken by my life, the sort of things I experience.
Then came tonight where away from his good buddy and in his own light, it hit me square: indeed we are, in-sync.
“So you do play instruments? What do you play? The piano, guitar…?”
“Yeah those, and the flute. Also the drums.”
“I like drummers.”
I laughed, a second too late – of course – in realizing I’d said this out loud; an indirect suspect.
“She’s trying to tell you that she likes you.”
She said it so nonchalantly that I laughed again, muffling the almost-awkward silence. He laughed in response too. The almost-awkward pause evaded just as naturally.
But here’s also where I understand that just because I am taken by another person – as I always find myself to be, no surprises here no more – it does not mean that we will and must be life partners or romantically involved. It does not mean that because sparks did fly, the outcome is set in stone to only be one thing and one thing only. No way.
It’s a friendship summer fling, I remind myself. Treat it exactly as such; take nothing too seriously, give up some of yourself and part ways as pseudo-strangers holding one another’s secrets. Heart on my sleeve; I can promise you now that I’ll remember this summer break like no other and the sincerely interesting people who filled it to defining capacity.
“It’s a friendship summer fling,” he said aloud and laughed at the thought. I laughed in response. The car swerved forward, into the darkness of the road at nighttime. In the repeated switch between light and darkness, here we are, a bunch of twenty-somethings still very much trying to find our way while staying true to the persons we are and crossing path at this period of time, this place.
Anything’s game. It’s just a friendship summer fling.