The Graduation Series: Prologue.

I’m writing it as we speak, but it’s too effing long – I’d scrolled up and realized it’s at friggin’ 3000 words and I’m not even done… I can feel the wheels in my mind full speed in-motion – that it’s only fitting it’s broken into parts and thus, made into a serial. Plus, I need to sleep – it’s close to 3 AM here! My writing tendencies are totally random and unplanned, obviously true. Third time’s the charm too, they say, you know? So… Say hello to The Graduation Series, a so-called pseudo self-memoir of my educational journey and with it, a reflection of growth during a most defining period. Like any story – it opens with a prologue.

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I told myself I need to write this, that whatever it is this needs to be documented in blogphilic.

Today I received news that my senior design project and thus team, was awarded the best departmental senior design group!

To be honest, submission to be considered for this recognition is voluntary and given the incredibly tight deadline to submit both the presentation slides and report (my team had the advantage of having started on the report early), it’s no wonder that only three teams had submitted. However, despite this reality, I’ll admit it – I’m so happy! And pleased. And proud. And… Grateful.

As the winner, we’ll be participating in the College’s senior design acknowledgement day, representing our department. What makes me especially beaming with pride is the fact that it’s also the first time that an environmental engineering-themed senior design project has won and is chosen as a representative in a department heavily skewed towards it’s traditional bread-and-butter, civil and architectural engineering.

A couple hours ago I sat on my prayer mat, feeling overwhelmed. So extremely overwhelmed… but in a good way. For the first time – in a good way. It’s been such an eventful and wonderful college senior year, made especially wonderful by the recent turn-of-events in the gifts I continue to receive from the Almighty.

Three and a half years later, two weeks to walking in my regalia, throwing that cap in the air and doing all those cheesy graduation must-do’s – I look back with a heart that feels so full, brimming to it’s core. Absolutely no regrets and the most wonderful, defining and significant life lesson: yes, one’s location and background play a role in one’s life, but one’s actions and decisions shape that life. How you choose to live it, how you view and live in it – it’s all up to you. Location, people, resources and everything else – they can only do so much. What do you do with your lot in life? How do you honor them? How do you live a life that you can look back at proudly, happily and contentedly? Is the cup half-full or half-empty? It’s your call.

My life is small. In truth, significant really only within the peripheries of my mind and moderate in size only as wide as my social and networking circle stretches but my goodness it is full to the brim; content. How many people can say that about their lives, shimmering and glitzy that theirs may be? Some people seek and never quite find. MasyaAllah, praises be to the Almighty!

I’ve come a long way – a long, roundabout way in learning this and tonight, I feel like I’ve truly, sincerely and finally, come full circle. It sure feels like it’s a long time coming.

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5 thoughts on “The Graduation Series: Prologue.

  1. I think it is so cool you are in environmental engineering! :3 Congrats on the award!!

    I am very much looking forward to your graduation series!!

    Question: Did you have regrets before? I mean, did you regret something before, but then later on you didn’t regret it anymore?

    1. Thank you thank you! (I feel like this is all I ever say to you!)

      Answer: I think it’s not so much regrets per se, but that constant “what if” hovering at the back of my mind and it’s really tough and definitely haunting, when this happens because I’m someone who overthinks about almost EVERYTHING in my life. So I think rather than total regret, it’s more fear about it, coupled with insecurities etc and because I personally know of older folks who regret things/decisions/roads not taken etc in their lives from young and talk/remember/hold on/deny to present day …not a pretty picture. To me at least, it makes them less in the moment and grateful of their respective lives’ journey, which is unfortunate.

      1. Then, is there a time when you moved past the “what if’s”? I am like that, I am always thinking about the what-if’s and I always agonize over them. T_____T

        1. I can’t honestly say if I’ve moved past them but! I can say that I’ve come to accept them – the past, the present, every missed chances etc. I’ve come to make peace with them and mistakes, if any, are on my part – to be gentle with myself about ’em. You can do it too, Heisui! Don’t let them haunt you, because while all the roads not taken are beautiful because they’re unknown and untouched, the present is always yours to do right with :)

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