I find myself propelled to address this.
blogphilic is a personal space, hence generally the comments I receive are of the nice, engaging and friendly sort. I don’t receive many – which is totally fine with me – and with those that I do receive, I’ve developed a kind of rapport/friendship with some readers in particular that the comments are yes, nice. I am however, always up for constructive criticisms and practice openness in both my personal life and writing. In short, I enjoy thoughtful discussions, I stand to be corrected in issues I’m hardly an expert in and I am aware and openly admit that my drama reviews and first impressions are clearly writing works in progress. If you backtrack chronologically, I’m pretty sure it’ll dawn upon you too that holy moly, my earlier reviews really were crappy. I’ve improved somewhat but I’ve got some ways to go still.
For as long as I’ve been a writer/blogger, I’ve tried my very best not to use this stance, “Oh it’s my blog – I can do whatever I want.” Yes, that’s true to a degree, but similarly in Real Life whereby our lives are never truly ours… This is how I view blogphilic. I recognize my full ownership of this space yes, but over time there’s been a sort of communal feel to it – albeit one that is very, very small which is exactly my preference – that I’ve come to enjoy.
Thus, I feel the need to point out that if there is one thing I don’t appreciate, it is this: ad hominem.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines it to a tee:
appealing to feelings or prejudices rather than intellect
There is no reason for us to act like pretentious intellectuals here – this is a personal blog, not a scientific journal – but acting maturely and conveying thoughtful responses are two major etiquette I’ve always practiced online and in Real Life. It goes without saying that I expect similar behaviors by my visitors because come on, we’re not scary, crazy netizens right? Right?
So while I am always open and up for discussions, constructive criticisms and the like, I don’t appreciate it when one takes a personal jab at myself or my characteristics simply based upon my write-ups. I don’t appreciate being targeted by strangers for absolutely no reason apart from the fact that I’ve written something you clearly dislike reading and or come across. I’m all up for statements like “I don’t agree with what you wrote because-“ or maybe even snarky, “You’re wrong in saying it that way, I think-“ because I’m just being honest about what I feel and think of the subject and well, so are you. The conversation then gets interesting and I’m all ears.
However, those along the lines of “You suck!”?
Let me clarify it with a single word: No.
There’s nobody I’m trying to please when I do my drama write-ups – which is for goodness sake, just dramas! – nor do I write them with the purpose of only wanting positive comments. The process is time-consuming like hell, but essentially simple: I watch, react emotionally and respond (pseudo)intellectually through writing. Really, that’s all the write-ups are about so there’s absolutely no need to get nasty and immature. You don’t have to feel obliged or compelled to like everything here – I don’t – and feel free to point that out, just do so minus any rudeness.
I’m not saying that when you’re here you’re required to play nice and nothing but – absolutely not.
What I’m saying is that I stand by the goodwill that we’re all mature, intellectual adults who are respectful of each other both on and offline. I’m not about to mother anyone on how to behave but consider this a firm warning: keep off the nasty – personal jabs aren’t allowed here. Period.
Thanks for listening and hope you’re enjoying the last slices of summer and August!