of writing (thank you, yes you!).

This will sound clichéd, but it’s the truth:

Ever since I can remember, I’ve always loved to write. Even as a young girl, I loved the act of deciphering thoughts into words and turning them into physical forms through words on papers. Propelled by this passion and love, as far as I’m concerned I’ve been and always am writing, moving from journals to editorials to essays and blogging, of course.

But here’s a confession: I can’t stand it when bloggers and writers, established or not, declare that if they could turn back time or live differently – they wouldn’t change the writer-part of themselves. The kind of statement that would sound something like, “If I’m not a writer, I don’t know what I am.” I can’t stand that because they’d make it sound like writing’s a calling, one either does, or die without it. So untrue.

Growing up, I think this intense dislike and annoyance stem from feeling envious. I couldn’t write or prose the way they do – with such nuance, pathos, intelligence and depth. They’d reach levels that I can only hope and dream of to reach, moving in languid motion through their words. I lurked around their blogs, articles and the like but would feel down and beat myself up over how wonderful their write-ups were when compared to mine. Whenever I come across writers who dwell about their personal lives – to a degree, the way I do here – and find that they’re met with lively responses via comments and followers, I’d feel so upset and threatened, sinking deeper into my void of negativity. It always ends the same: I would find myself unable to write for days, sometimes months after. Now I see it for what it is: not writer’s block, but insecurity. I admit that it’s because of this that I never fought to pursue writing as a professional career. For a very long time, I believed so strongly that I just don’t have what it takes.

Now that I’m older and on my way to build a professional career in something so vastly different from writing (but equally loving), I’ve accepted the strengths and weaknesses of my writing and with that, the kind of writer I am. Somewhere deep in my wildest dreams, I think I still harbor this random, almost-impossible dream to be a creative nonfiction published writer. In reality however, I’ve accepted that while I might be a good writer – I’m not great, or astounding or whatever other exaggerated adjectives …that’s totally okay.

I’m happy to keep writing here and happier that I’m now able acknowledge, without any discontentment or lingering envy, the wonderful talents of so many writers that I loyally follow or stumble upon. Where I used to be a lurker both off- and online, I’ve come to realize how precious feedback is and believe so strongly that credit must be given where it’s due, so when I stumble upon great writing – I get excited. I’ll leave comments, share the articles around in cybersphere, talk and discuss them in Real Life – do whatever I can to convince others that they’re worthy reads (really!). I like this so much more, this feeling – awestruck, mind blown and happy.

So here’s my personal ode to all the wonderful and incredibly talented writers and bloggers whom I religiously follow and greatly enjoy their write-ups and especially, individual writing styles – here’s to each one of you: thank you for (your) writing! They’ve gotten me to great places and more notably, memorable emotions.

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6 thoughts on “of writing (thank you, yes you!).

  1. I had the same experience too. I used to think I was good at writing since people would tell me I was good at English..but once I started comparing my writing to other people’s writing, I realized that mine was not all that great. There are tons of writers who are way better than me. But whatever! :P

    1. But where you’re different Heisui and I think it’s worth and pertinent you know it is that your voice is uniquely yours! Your writing style is fine, but what really attracts and appeals with your writing is the sincerity that is obviously there with everything you write. In a way to put that, its like as a reader I get this sense that you’re really, truly writing from the heart – exhibit A right there, at your blog. So if you feel threatened take it as a reminder for improvement stylistically but keep that voice! That’s totally you :)

  2. The maturity to recognize insecurity, the courage to move beyond it, and the grace to admire & credit others whom you believe to be better or more skilled than you – those are all things to be celebrated, and when all 3 culminate, it’s a lovely thing of beauty. ❤

    I’ve always loved writing myself, but beyond that, I think at a deeper level it was a love of reading that gave birth to the love for writing. I particularly enjoy reading writing that gives me a feeling of.. deliciousness, for lack of a better word. Y’know, gorgeous phrasing that is so juicy that you almost want to take a bite out of it. And I find that reading more of other people’s writing provides fuel and fodder from which my own writing continues to evolve.

    So three cheers for the plethora of talented writers and bloggers out there.. I continue to be inspired, the more I read. I join in your toast, to all of them! :D

    1. Maturity – that’s what it is! I’m so happy I’ve finally acquired that :) totally with you that reading others’ works really fuel and fodder one’s own writing style and thought processes. Three cheers, for sure!

  3. Ohh you. :) I really do love your ability, not to just write, and write earnestly, but at how your mind leaps from one subject to another with such ease (and I know that writing from the heart isn’t always that easy). You just give me something to ponder on each time. Once upon a time I aspired to be some fantastic author, dabbled in short stories and novels, and then scrapped them bc “who wants to just be another NY times best selling author?” How lame! ;) I still read a great bit, and though of course I enjoy subjects that are interesting, entertaining or relevant to me, I’m more and more appreciative of ppl like you who can just sit down and tackle a concept, in whatever form. :)

    1. Aw Rosie, you flatter me, thank you so much :) I wrote a reply a few days ago, can’t believe it wasn’t uploaded! I wanted to say that it’s so consoling to know that other writers feel that way when it comes to that almost-impossible dream – perhaps it’s something almost intuitive for those of us who enjoy the act of writing and want to be recognized on a larger scale for said craft. Like you, I’m now more appreciative of casual writers too because there’s so much relevance to their written pieces but cos they’re not in established magazines and the like, I feel like they’re perceived as of less value which shouldn’t be the case!

      (Of course, there are equally as many poorly written articles and writers out there haha, but let’s err on the side of hope that everyone’s trying their best to progress!)

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