I wrote this a couple of nights ago but held back from posting (I shouldn’t be on blogphilic this week, ahem) :
My WINNER-spazz self is tired – typically exciting Tumblr circle and One Hallyu forum are starting to feel like elementary school or something, especially the latter. The kind of conversations – despite I’m sure, all in good fun – that takes place in those places… Followed by the responses and shipping wars and whatever MINE claims on the boys… I can’t, I just can’t deal with them anymore.
I’ve come to realize the age gap with KPop fans these days – they’re clearly skewing more on the tweens to teenage range and I’m really feeling the gap now, ever since I jumped into the rabid hole with the WINNER boys. Granted the boys themselves are younger than me (sans Kim Jin Woo who’s also a ’91er, but technically I’m still older by a few months) so the above shouldn’t be surprising and I like the boys, but… the fandom kills me sometimes. On one hand I realize it is simply light-hearted fun, but on the other the immaturity kills my brain cells. Legit. Perhaps the excitement’s simply died down for me that although I’m still crazy in love (obsessed more like but shhh) with the boys, I feel like I’ve no more place to camp.
Oh, this reminds me – I’m now on Tumblr, though honestly I’ve no idea if I’ll stick around. On principle, I hate re-blogging so I don’t do that myself, but I’ve linked my two recent WINNER-related Timeouts there. Again, I don’t know what I’m actually doing there to be honest and I still can’t say if I’m sticking around for the long-term (judging from the way I sound, probably not for long) but there’s something about the way the dashboard works which I really like, plus the bite-sized entertainment is wonderful. I’m scared to commit because the community’s too open – am I the only one who finds the Ask Me Anything feature creepy? – but at the moment, more pluses than minuses so you can find me there too…
My conflict is… It doesn’t feel right to be spazzing like a child over here, so I’ve tried to keep it to a minimum aha and go on a Like spree over there while internally squealing. Right now though… Why do I keep feeling like I’ve lost my WINNER-spazzing camping grounds? Sad.
Will blogphilic have to be the cipher, as it always is with all things related to my emotions? You’re probably gonna be annoyed at me, or already so, cos of my nonstop WINNER-related Timeouts…
Tumblr is still fun don’t get me wrong – some gifs are seriously the highlight of my day, I swear haha – but at the end of the day, I realize that I’m still more words-than-photos kinda girl. I thirst for meaty context in writing despite how trivial a topic is – something I’m still not quite finding over there.
And this was what went through my mind this evening, when I peeped at Tumblr during class and learned:
OMG WINNER TV IS HERE Y’ALL!!!!
OMG MY BOYS ARE BACK ON MY SCREEN
(insert incoherent verbal diarrhea) AND EXACTLY ON THE DAY MY EXAMS ARE OVER, OMG WINTER BREAK 2013 MIGHT BE MY BEST YET!!!!
So much for being mature.