I’m back from Sin City and I’m now officially into the second week of my break!
First and foremost, thank you for the kind words and support. I’m sorry I was such an emotional wreck – the thought of last weekend has me shaking my head in embarrassment and shame – and if you missed the quick announcement in the last Sputnik post, I… passed. Made it through to the next term, though honestly – just barely. But pass the borderline I did and at the moment, that’s all that matters. Everything else… I’ll pick them back up in January.
Now I’m kicking off exactly what you read above: 15 days of solitude. By that I mean, there’s exactly two weeks left before the new school term and I… am honestly scratching my head in confusion on why I didn’t choose to fly back home (as usual) for the long break. It’s now too late to do anything about that though so here I am, back in my studio with 15 (now 14 as I type this) days of solitude with just me, myself and I.
Here’s the thing you need to remember, or know about me: I thrive in being alone. It’s crazy, scary and sometimes unhealthy, I’m aware but at the same time – I can’t help it. Most times I wish I have people whom I can talk to, but the world is always so noisy that the quiet solitude of my own company is what I love and look forward to the most.
Here’s how it will work: there will be drama-watching days (rejoice because I’ve jumped into the boat again and I’m paddling forward, finally!), reading days (I’m trying to get through my Haruki Murakami list, as much as his writing both puzzles and leaves me in awe) and there’ll also be solo daily excursions to nearby towns as I attempt to get to know my surrounding better. I’m genuinely very excited because if it’s one thing I can promise in the lazy motion of all of the above, it is this: writing days, or rather moments.
I suspect they’ll be random, touching on brief thoughts and quotes; afterthoughts and internal musings; reality check reflections and drama-watching. As the year comes to a close, my mind tends to be on overdrive, looking back and whatnot. In the past three months, there were many things I wanted to write about and didn’t, so now I hope to unleash them from my memory box. I can’t promise much on what the topics will be about because truthfully I don’t know either – an array of things, I suspect and whatever they are, I’m excited.
It’s like an exercise in patience, or as I like to call it: feeding the writer blues.
Here’s my D-15 musing, courtesy of John Mayer as he sings my heart out, always, in The Age of Worry:
“Don’t be scared to walk alone
Don’t be scared to like it
There’s no time that you must be home
So sleep where darkness falls
Alive in the age of worry
Smile in the age of worry
Go wild in the age of worry
And say, “Worry, why should I care?”
Know your fight is not with them
Yours is with your time here
Dream your dreams but don’t pretend
Make friends with what you are
Give your heart then change your mind
You’re allowed to do it
‘Cause God knows it’s been done to you
And somehow you got through it.”