A blogphilic Reflection: 2013 In Review.

blogphilic 2013 in review

The Introduction

Oh wow, look what we have here – blogphilic‘s annual report!

I really thought that the summary (link below) discloses meaningful insights about my blogging stint this year. So I figured it is a good time as any to write about the subject that is blogging and my personal thoughts on my role as a blogger-writer with a specific focus, of course, on the past year.

In other words, more active than never, based upon not only page views but total entries, namely double the digits from 2012 for both categories. Pretty insane frankly, and until now I’m honestly boggled that this space has surpassed 100,000 total views – accumulated over six years makes it less of a big deal I know, but when I realize that half of it comes from this year alone… in my book, that’s just crazy.

The Shout-out

Those top commenters haha, why am I not surprised? *waves* But sincerely, I’m so grateful for the friendships I’ve made through this space over the past year – some of those comments I’ve received this year, especially in exchanging stories and experiences, they’ve genuinely helped me to chin up and bounce back. Thank you so, so much. Unsurprisingly I’ve received some nasty and insensitive ones too but the good far, far outweighs the bad. Your words have magical powers is all I’m saying, so remember that and use them wisely.

In general to everyone who is around here even if you’ve never dropped a comment or anything of that sort – just for sticking around and reading, namely finding some value in my write-ups however slight, I mean this sincerely:

Thank you :) You guys rock!

The Personal Musing 

I like to think my writing this year showed progress, both in terms of maturity and style. I admit I relapsed quite often emotionally, especially since I tend to write expressively and honestly here. Another tendency is to write in the moment itself, so I sound like a total emotional mess half the time – I just hope I don’t come off as a total lunatic. I promise I’m really pretty normal in Real Life haha.

I’ve also realized that my personal musing tends to be incredibly dramatic. As Eldest Sis and soul-sister used to say, “When you’re upset, it’s like the whole world must be sad with you.” She is… correct, I’m afraid. I’m trying, I promise, to be less of a brat and more of an adult now but as far as I can recall, I have always been an over-thinker, over-emotional and over-sensitive person. Traits which I think benefit the writer in me and make me a pretty good student in this thing called life where I am a perpetual observer, but also become the death of me during challenging periods in my life. Fortunately I hold on to the belief that I am always a work in progress, so here’s to hoping for more optimistic outlooks in future – I promise I’m working on them!

Last but not least, something that’s really changed and has become significant when it comes to my writing – the usage of expletive words. To be honest, I used to hate swearing and consciously remind myself not to do so, plus my mum absolutely hates it when any of us siblings use swear words, verbally or on paper. I used to hate it too actually, when writers use them because not everyone is comfortable with their usage – until I become one myself. These days I find that they add strength and weight to not only the writing but also the emotions conveyed. There are moments when I feel that I can’t not use them because the emotions – anger, sadness and fury mostly – don’t suffice merely by admitting to feeling them. I apologize however, if it offends or makes anyone uncomfortable. I can’t promise not to use them because honestly I will, but as it is I’m working on reducing my dependency and usage of them.

What did I say earlier? Work in progress, I promise that’s what I am!

The Drama-Writing

On the drama-writing front, because 2013 has ended it’s now time to assess my experiment, i.e. how did I fare this year and do I want to keep going? I’ll be honest: I’ve considered quitting repeatedly this past year. The moment I announced and made it official I’d try for the rest of the year, I regretted it immediately and wished I didn’t.

When the slump hit and stayed for months; when I started feeling pressured and obliged to chug entries; when I grew an inflated ego at the dramatic increase in page views and inevitably became all too aware of rising statistics especially followers who entered (and then exited); when I realized I wasn’t writing for myself to please or relieve myself, instead for others and an audience ergo going against my personal blogging stance – in all those moments, I wanted so badly to quit.

If there is ever a more reluctant drama-writer, I’d really like for us to get to know one another haha. Sometimes I really hate myself for writing about dramas – that they’re dramas and not literature, for instance, or that I’m not even Korean or Japanese so what rights do I even have to be writing about them? When these questions and thoughts arise, I hate myself because I feel really foolish. Sometimes… I still do. It is an ongoing internal battle, I suppose.

Oddly enough though, it’s cos of this that has led me to newfound blog friends. It’s cos of this that I’m able to continue writing with a purpose, as opposed to endless personal musing especially now that I’m no longer doing editorial work. It’s cos of this that I started to think more critically about writing – what does it actually mean to me and how does it impact me on a greater, more profound level? -, drama-watching and Asian pop culture in general. Drama-writing is not always fun, I openly admit and I still think I’m a reluctant drama-(side)blogger, but interestingly I’ve also realized that it’s an unconventional learning curve that’s pretty damn satisfying in hindsight.

In all honesty I really, really don’t know how long I’ll do this because there are days when I absolutely loathe it. I don’t want to be just another drama-blogger; I am a living, breathing multifaceted person but because the world’s attention is now suddenly upon Asian dramas especially Korean dramas, it’s like I’m suddenly part of this long-list that I never wanted or planned to sign up for. I am a person first I suppose is what I genuinely believe and think, but once I’m pooled under drama-blogger it’s like my identity as a person on the world-wide web and especially here becomes obsolete and less significant. It’s like people want to talk about the dramas only, where fiction matters more than reality and it’s disconcerting. It is odd and in my crazy, weird highly sensitized funk which you’ve probably noticed if you’ve been around here for a while – when it rubs me off the wrong way, it really rubs me off the wrong way.

I digress. Looking back at 2013, still, there were more pros than cons. I realize that I think I’ll eventually outgrow these Asian dramas someday, and because I’ve watched for a decade plus that near future might actually come sooner than later you know what I mean? As it is, it’s now so easy for me to drop dramas like flies, and fictional characters and settings don’t consume and transport me as effortlessly as they used to. It’s weird when I think about this seriously because in many ways these Asian dramas have really been a part of my life for so long. What happens next if I’m out of love with them? I… have no idea. The thought is unsettling, but not impossible.

I wish I’m less of an over-thinker, but you make do with what and who you are and well, that’s just how I’ve always been. Morbidity aside, what I mean to convey though is that rest assured because I’ve decided to continue to write about dramas and Asian pop culture for perhaps another year. Then we’ll see, because even now Real Life is quite the bitch frankly speaking. I’ve lowered my self-expectations and self-destructive pressure to perform on this front – I don’t make myself feel bad and obliged any longer, which is a relief – so hopefully in this second year of drama-writing, I’ll learn to lighten up and just have fun with it, you know what I mean? God knows I need it.

More fun, less pressure. Let’s see how the upcoming year progresses, haha.

UPDATE: Thanks to Heisui for pointing out the obvious below, haha. My apologies if I’m annoying or starting to annoy everyone with this so-called dilemma – one of my new year blogging resolution is definitely to quit bringing this up and I shall attempt starting from here onward! Thanks too, for being ever so patient… *innocent smile*

The Closing Note

When it comes to blogphilic and myself, one thing is certain and it’s a self-promise I make at the start of each new year: the bread and butter of blogphilic is my honest internal musing and monologue, written above all for myself first, and not for an audience. It always has, and must always will be so. This reminder keeps me grounded and honest both in my writing and as an individual.

With all that said, thank you once again for such a great year!

It’s truly been a great blogging year! As we transition into the new year, I sincerely hope that through (more) words written, shared and exchanged, they’ll introduce me to more wonderful new friends the world over and even more insightful life lessons, in their many varied shapes and forms, to gain and learn from.

Our words have magical powers, remember that. Honor, care and use them wisely.

Happy 2014!

The Summary

If you’re interested, the WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog:

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 58,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 21 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

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16 thoughts on “A blogphilic Reflection: 2013 In Review.

  1. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

    I still think you are making the drama blogging dilemma more complicated than it should be. You shouldn’t have to force yourself to write about dramas nor should it become a pain. Just write what you would like to write about hehe. :3 I like all kinds of your posts!

    1. I definitely am :( I overthink wayyyy too much. I’ve now brought it down by like two notches haha but ugh, sometimes I really have to tell myself to either write or shut up o.o but all that said, thank you for being ever patient with my whining. I promise I will try to talk less (or not at all!) about it come 2014 :D

      Oh oh oh, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU TOO!!!

      1. I really think your blog is very admirable. It is like you bare your soul to everyone (even though it is also your personal journal hehe). Not many people dare to do that. >_<

        1. *bows humbly* you are too sweet and kind with your words! Thank you :) I will tell you though – it is scary as sh*t honestly haha, but I realize that’s also just my writing style. My ‘voice’ is melodramatic and wispy, in general that in a way… can’t be helped? Ha. But honestly the irony is that I’m always so embarrassed these days to share with people in Real Life this space because of the drama write-ups -_-

          1. Yeah when you write your dramatic meltdown posts I don’t really know what I should say. >______> But you’re not the only one who is that way……I freak out a lot…

            Oh? Is it because of some of your spazzy fan moments?

            1. The dramatic meltdowns, not saying anything is totally okay don’t fret about it :) I find solace and relief in writing hence why the blog’s here but you know that quote which (loosely goes), “the most powerful words to hear when you’re struggling is “me, too””? Yeah, that’s pretty much sums it up. Just the knowledge that someone out there is ‘listening’ and possibly internally or mentally going, “I understand” is profound. That alone is honestly enough.

              I think so… But like I said way before this, I really am a closeted Asian drama junkie o.o Except for family (because they’ve have to put up with me more like, haha) and some old schoolmates – not many actually know. Plus I’m… kind of a serious person in Real Life? Like I talk about science and religion and life, supposedly meaty stuff like that more than I do TV shows etc. I think I generally give off the vibe of the Super Serious Student kind of impression, y’know the geeky class monitor or something of that sort… So it’s like, it’s very out of character for me for those who don’t know me well (or I think just generally the vibe I tend to give off is that I’m Straight-laced Serious). That’s what I think anyway, but I could be wrong :p

              (oops sorry this is long! Ah I’m always so lengthy!)

              1. Ok that is good to hear then. >__< LOL I didn't know you were a secret drama fan…..I guess I don't really see too big of a difference between you when you in your personal posts & you in your drama posts. But yeah I get what you mean. I'm kinda that way too..I don't think people would ever imagine I would be so spazzy over dramas. O_O""

  2. ah, the overthinking, that’s a hobby I have yet to shake. i agree with heisui, write what you feel like, i enjoy reading it either way. :) Happy New Year, As-salam alaykum!

    1. Ah thank you for saying that, comforts me that I’m not the only one with this overthinking business! Thank you as well for the oh so kind words :)

      Happy New Year to you too, wassalam :)

      PS Swung by your blog and wow wow wow, how could I have missed yours? *adds to Feedly reader*

      1. You are welcome. :) and thank you for stopping by. It’s a work in progress, well, to borrow what you said, I am a work in progress too. I wanted to start over and has a few person to talk to about what’s going on in my head so I decided to write it down. Am looking forward to your post, it’s a good read.

  3. How did I get on your top commenters.. twice!? I think I must be special. Lol

    Well Jane you know how much I like this space of yours- especially because I know it is YOUR space, written for you. I feel honored that you share with us. :)

    You know it is something that bothers me too, that of all the things in my life I could focus on, the only thing I write about on a halfway consistent level is drama and Kpop. It hits me hardest when I think about all the horrible things in the world, all the causes I could be making a difference in, but probably won’t, all the serious issues I have with my life and how I live it – and when I go into drama mode, I shut out the world, and get emotional about.. things that don’t matter. Basically, my drama blog won’t be with me in Heaven. So why am I wasting such a huge chunk of of my mental resources? (This isn’t even getting into the physical TIME spent on K-entertainment overall.)

    I’m a flawed human being, and it takes a serious amount of effort to pour myself in LIFE, and the people around me. So many things and people I let go of, because it’s hard to keep them up. It’s hard to maintain relationships. And it’s why I hibernate online, and make fewer day to day connections, and my circle of friends shrinks, because that’s all I can manage. And so I do things that require less stress. Like blogging, and reading blogs, and listening to Kpop endlessly.

    You know.. when I started writing 2 paragraphs ago I fully intended to cycle through the downside of drama blogging and return to the benefits of a good drama blog and why I do it.. but I just can’t right now.. Lol. I don’t know how or why it’s a good thing to keep up. I just, do it. Partly because it stimulates a creative side of my brain, partly because I like it, and partly because.. I don’t know what else to do. I’m a miserable person.. siiiigh.

    The only real positive about drama-blogging, is it brought me into contact with other people, where without dramas, I would never have met. That is all.

    Happy new Year!

    1. Aw you’re always so kind with your words :’) Thank youuuuu.

      Ah, thank you for writing out the second paragraph – that’s exactly it! That’s exactly what bugs me honestly, that there’s like big bang of things happening out in the real world but here I am, investing so much time and brain capacity and more on… Dramas. And lately I’ve also given more thought about the person I am here and the person I am in real life – lately, anyway because this relocation and chapter 2 have messed me up SO MUCH – and it’s weird how I’m more myself here than I am in person these days. Like, this is me – quirky, a bit of an oddball and a writing-enthusiast. Then in my current real life I’m… rather subdued. More reserved, and still keep preferring my own company than that of others. This is a problem…

      I think it’s nice that you’re still looking at drama-writing on the bright side though and definitely a LOT less critical than I am, which is good! You’re just like, “but… it’s fun. And that’s that.” I wish I could think more simplistically in the same manner! I’m glad you and I are still writing though, and that we decided to cos otherwise we wouldn’t have found each other’s spaces :D

      Happy New Year to you too! I spent all of yesterday on Nine, ha!

  4. Happy belated new year to you!

    Congrats for making it so far! You don’t have to force yourself to chug out posts. You don’t even have to write for others. This is your blog so you should be writing for yourself. If you enjoy what you are writing, other people will enjoy it too! Don’t pressure yourself and don’t overthink things! That a deep breath and relax! Anyway, just do what you want to do and not what you think people want you to do! (:

    1. You are always SUCH a sweetheart! Aw thank you so much for the kind words and encouragement hun :’) I’m definitely trying to live(write) by that now, been telling myself to just go with the flow and stop obsessing over follower stats etc haha. So far its been great :)

      Happy (belated) new year to you too!

      1. No probbies! Just listen to your heart and do what you want. That’s how you will feel good about yourself and other people will come to love you for that!

        Don’t think of blogging as stats and followers because if you do so that, what you write will not come from your heart because you will be trying to please people.

        (: May 2014 be a great year for us both!

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