And I asked myself about the present:how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep.– Kurt Vonnegut
I’m writing this in a hotel in Concord, CA with my old friends, with whom I spent today on a day trip excursion to Yosemite National Park. It’s the one time I’m actually grateful that a wedding is taking place – one of our closest friend’s wedding reception will take place here tomorrow, hence this reunion and today’s just been amazing. I can’t even begin, I don’t know where to begin, to describe how indescribably happy I feel.
The thing about old friends is not that they love you, but that they know you. They remember that disastrous New Year’s Eve when you mixed White Russians and champagne, and how you wore that red maternity dress until everyone was sick of seeing the blaze of it in the office, and the uncomfortable couch in your first apartment and the smoky stove in your beach rental. They look at you and don’t really think you look older because they’ve grown old along with you, and, like the faded paint in a beloved room, they’re used to the look.
– Anna Quindlen
You know, there’s really something to be said about old friends who knew you before you were anything. There’s just something about friends who don’t seem or feel like strangers, despite the fact that both sides have admittedly done a poor job at keeping in touch for the past year or two. There’s something about friends who knew you when you were your awkward, goofy self – full of empty pride and pipe dreams – and understood the hows and whys behind the person that you are now. There’s something so comforting in the easy familiarity between us.
There’s a lot to be said about being able to be 100% one’s true self, in the company of precious old friends.
I’ve not much to add, apart from my poor attempts to describe just how amazingly happy I feel – the best in what strangely feels like a lifetime. It’s hard to describe this lightness – no baggage, excess, or burdens. To them, I’m Jane – no placeholder, over- and under-explanations, endings and beginnings required. Slowly, I started feeling like Jane again and remembered what’s it like to think, feel and speak like her; it’s been forever, where has she been? I never thought I’d be the one to say this, but you know what? Reunited, and it feels so damn good. It feels too damn good to feel like myself again, through their memories of the girl that I was. They remembered me in ways I’d forgotten about myself.
The thing is, that when you’re young, you always think you’ll meet all sorts of wonderful people, that drifting apart and losing friends is natural. You don’t worry, at first, about the friends you leave behind. But as you get older, it gets harder to build friendships. Too many defenses, too little opportunity. You get busy. And by the time you realize that you’ve lost the dearest best friend you’ve ever had, years have gone by and you’re mature enough to be embarrassed by your attitude and,
frankly, by your arrogance.– Kate Jacobs
Thank goodness for maturity and hindsight. Alhamdulillah, blessings be upon Him, for precious old friends and our shared history, the overwhelming beauty mother nature offers that humbles one to the core, and God’s impeccable timing. I’ve been feeling like I’m sorely in need of lots of humbling and comfort and boy, was I met with an abundance of both today. Ending this with photos from Yosemite National Park – all photos are mine, but they’re yours and mine to delight on. Enjoy the nature porn and yes, visit for yourself when you’ve the chance! So indescribably happy today.