Hi. I feel like I’ve just risen from the dead. I’m still in the process of trying to get my shit together and figured I needed to write this – get some things off my chest, you know? My apologies to my drama-readers for the halt on drama write-ups and there’s only one reason: for the past month, I didn’t watch anything new. Nada. Nil. Zilch. Zero. Traveling with limited internet was one thing, spending time with family was another, but you know the honest, real reason? I needed to get out there and live my life again. I think I’m too attached to this space that it makes me feel uneasy when I feel like I’m away from here for too long, but I maintain that it’s important to distinguish between what’s real and what’s fiction.
It’s refreshing to remember that I am a real person with a real life.
I heard there are lots of really good shows airing right now, and I’m tempted to try out a few. I have some lined up in my mental to-watch list and some I’ve safe keep under the to-marathon list. There’s also lots of good (and bad) news about KPop, namely where my WINNER boys are concerned – they’re debuting baby, they’re finally debuting!
I haven’t lost interest, but I can’t seem to muster the will to write a spazzy reaction post because they teased for too long that when the 1st of August arrived and we were given yet another teaser video, I stared at the screen feeling empty. I wish only the best for the boys, always, because they’ve gone through so much to get to this point – they damn well deserve this, and more. I will support their début in my own ways, but for real, at some point YG Entertainment needs to quit media playing so damn much. This circus of poor management and undelivered promises is getting way old.
Anyways, same goes with confirmation news that Shim Eun Kyung is indeed our Korean Nodame – thank God, seriously thank you dear God. I’m extremely relieved that they at least got their shit together where casting is concerned but can’t seem to dedicate a write-up specifically addressing this. I’ll just say that it’s now a matter of will they or won’t they, the creative team, deliver and do justice to our beloved characters and story? Rest assured that if they butcher this, I will butcher them with my words. For now keep our emotions in check; we’ll know soon enough.
Now I’m back and trying to jump into my usual mode of juggling real life with writing. I have topics, ideas, issues and the like I want to put to words. I have photos that I really should take time to share because they give insights to my month of July. I have images and memories of people, strangers and family, that linger in my mind waiting for their respective turn to have the limelight shine on them.
I don’t know what I associate summer with quite honestly, because before I first experienced the four seasons, for nineteen straight years my life was literally a series of summer – growing up in the tropical heat of Malaysia, it’s summer all year-long. I thought the sun, heat, mental and breathing spaces, homecoming – I thought they’d do me good. I thought they’d bring back the words, gushing out without restrain. So silly of me for my naïve thoughts.
Writing has been a challenge of late – it’s been a vicious cycle of write, delete, pause, delete entirely. Abandoned write-ups. Incomplete paragraphs. Too many times now I’ve stared at my laptop screen, wondering just what went wrong? Where? Why won’t the words come gushing out like they often do?
But… I did it. I wrote something last night at 210 AM, finally, huddled in the dark with my fingers painstakingly typing away on my Samsung Note II and squinting my eyes at its screen, obviously smaller than the laptop. My head hurt; I really needed to sleep. It was 4 AM by the time I felt it was finally good enough for public consumption. I’ll publish it after this and then work on another, a drama write-up, because I need to flex those muscles too.
So I guess what I’m trying to say is the usual: I’m still alive and I hope you understand that I’m really trying my darndest to write and deliver, but my human limitation is glaring. “You’re too intense,” Third Sis said the other day, “It scares people.” I can’t deny that. Anyway, frankly I think the likelihood of publishing drama related write-ups in the month of August is slim compared to slice-of-life and personal musing; I’m so backlogged with the latter, though I promise I’m really trying in this game of playing catching up. I’m doing what I can.
Hope the summer’s been good on ya; keep cool!