Sometimes I put my heart on my sleeves, and the world answers back. It’s kind of crazy, each time this happens – far and few that it does – but it is also absolutely beautiful. Today I woke up to this incredibly heartfelt and moving comment by decembi in response to my entry, With The Heart To Forget You.
I want to tell you that there will be all kinds of love in this world, and most fascinating of all, you can only marry one of them. That love that cannot be spoken between friends is felt regardless – just that as time passes, it recedes into a beautiful or even forgotten memory. Only recalled when a certain song is played, or the sky feels like a certain weather. There will be people you like, who won’t like you back, and people who like you back but will never be able to take responsibility for your feelings.
She’d even inserted (the amazing) Rilke‘s words!
Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.
– Rainer Maria Rilke
Funny because just last weekend, I opened up about this to a close friend here, carefully choosing my words and emotions, only to have her near-rolling her eyes and responding so matter-of-factly, “You’re conjuring things in your mind, extrapolating things which aren’t there because it’s [wanting to be in] love that you’re seeking. It needn’t be him; it could’ve been any other guy friend of yours.” I sat across from her blinking once, twice as my cheeks felt increasingly hotter; shame. I wish I could take it all back and pretended I never said anything about this. She might’ve been right, but not about everything. Just who and what does she think I am? Claiming it could’ve been any random guy because of this supposed desperation that I feel; silly me for believing that she knew me better than that by now. To belittle a friend’s anguish regardless whether it’s trivial or significant is simply unkind.
So you know, thank you, sincerely, for your empathy and wisdom decembi <3