The Onionsoul Edition: #950.

Mental spots.

I bring up this term often, only to realize that I never properly defined it. I thought I would allow Third Sis to do so today, because today’s one of those days where my loneliness feels so fucking palpable.

Today was the department’s prospective students visit day. It’s strange how fast time flies – I remember my own visit two years ago, and more than that, how embarrassingly excited and nervous I was. Fast-forward two years later and I barely feel anything, much less care. Time and again I have to consciously remind myself that I didn’t choose to come here to perfect the art of slacking… it is against such hopeful faces on-campus today that I feel like I should be more grateful about being here. Why, just why is my affection for this place is so hard to locate? Why is it misplaced more times than it is found? This place does wonders for my résumé, but so little for the state of my soul. Days like today I want nothing more than to bid goodbye and move elsewhere.

Mental spots.

January 11, 2012:

A mental spot in time – that’s what the philosophers call a place where you revisit in your mind when your current reality is unpleasant. Mental spots; so I wrote to sandwiches and told him he reminded me of a place in time where I would revisit from time to time when I am sad. 

That he is the only thing curiously familiar in the time when everything that supposedly were are exceptionally foreign. 

Mental spots. 

– Pinknerd | #950. Eat Sandwiches, Be Happy


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