The Onionsoul Edition: #947.

It’s back!

I decided to feature this one this week because of the second last sentence – our circumstances are different and those who broke our hearts play different roles in our respective lives, but the realization she came to is eerily similar. It’s been an extremely long and emotionally trying week for me – and everything’s just about to get started.

Rewinding the clock, as usual, to 2012 – January 10, to be exact, when Third Sis recently came back home for good following the completion of her degree in Tasmania, Australia. A new chapter, maybe, but lots of in-between before anything else.

The first mistake I made was asking a guy to accompany me to central market while I went job-hunting for pocket money now that I’m technically unemployed. That was root. The second mistake I made was when he and I were tired and he suggested the place we used to hang out at, I launched for the seat at the corner we used to sit at almost without thinking. The next mistake I made was that when we achieved what we came for and he wanted to prolong the day, I suggested KLCC by LRT and we sat side-by-side facing the tinted mirror where I saw our reflection just the way I saw our reflection those many years back on the LRT. And it was here that I realized my mistakes because in that instant I saw you that by the time we reached KLCC, I didn’t suggest we walk at the park or eat at my favorite restaurant, I made it so quick we left within an hour. 

Today was painful. 

I realized for the past two years while I was moving on, toughening and wising up, I executed my growth process in Tasmania. I walked away and subsequently built a fort in my heart abroad where everything was distant and things were easy in comparison. I really haven’t been home and healed from the places where everything began. 

I thought I missed you so badly today. And it just made me feel very sad. 

— Pinknerd | #947. God, I Cannot Be Proud.


“I really haven’t been home and healed from the places where everything began.”


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