“The timing in which people enter your life is very important.”
These days, I keep finding myself forcefully holding back my tongue from accidentally bursting out loud, “I love you.”
I do – and I have loved you for the past four years because you are to me, a dear friend and good person – but these days, I am uncertain myself of the weight of those words. Towards you; what it says about (hypothetical) us.
Do I love you? (Yes)
Am I in love with you? ([insert answer here])
But I am always – always – thankful for our crossed paths.
“He’s someone who, now that I’m back to the place older and guarded – he’s… a safe space.”
“But we’re friends. I know that because it’s me, feeling too many things.”
“Why don’t you pray? Just put in a prayer for this, for him. You… never know.”
“You know… I had this thought about us – him and I – on that one day I felt particularly brave. I made us braver. Not fearful of the boundary but braver in spite of it. Because it’s exhausting to be constantly fearful. And I did pray… that if indeed we stand a chance, that this is the person for me – I hope he finds God before he finds me. The order is deliberate.”
“I hope he finds God before he finds me. I wouldn’t know how to have it any other way.”