on the fight, at the seventh-month mark.

Seven months in and this is what I understand… My Project Engineer role is basically all about constantly having to talk to and chase people (mostly) for other people. Every now-and-then, I’ve to gather people together too, for no other reason but to force them to literally talk to each other. Simultaneously, I am and have gotten better at pretending that I know all sorts of multidisciplinary technical knowledge when I actually know zilch (how did I survive engineering school – twice – again?) because it’s true: in reality, to survive and seem (keyword: seem) competent it’s really just a lot of fronting i.e. upfront I just have to feign understanding without missing a beat until I get back to the background where it is all about knowing my resources – where and to whom to go to for answers and information needed.

I miss Environmental – a lot – and I don’t know how to give it up – okay, I don’t want to because I’m stubborn and still believe it is too young and too early of me to settle with Project Engineering and give up entirely on Environmental Engineering – but surviving as a Project Engineer is my main challenge right now and I’m tired of fighting for doors to open if they just ain’t gonna so… survive it is. I am an active work-in-progress – this, I can promise you.

PS As you would have known by now – a friend recently pointed out, “If a person has only one problem, that problem will take up 100% of that person’s time. If however,” she reasoned, “A person has problems A to Z to deal with, then that 100% will be distributed among them. As such, maybe problem A will instead take up only 5% of a person’s time because there are too many things to worry about.” I do not at all disagree and totally understand her point, but for clarity, it’s not that this Project Engineering vs Environmental Engineering is the only thing I deal with in my life… I just won’t talk – as openly – about everything else that I’m dealing with. So it’s not that I mean to drum to the same beat every damn time forever – I just find work to be the easiest topic to fall back on whenever I am asked, “How have you been?”

All I ask is that petty though my hardships may seem, please do not belittle them because though my struggles aren’t as ‘heavy’ and ‘difficult’ as yours – yours don’t invalidate mine. Comparisons of this sort are inconsiderate and unfair.

Thanks for understanding and being ever-patient.

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