what it is like to (finally) like someone (or: a jumble of semi-coherent thoughts from fragmented conversations);



N: (enters the car) (immediately starts speaking and asking questions)

A: (turns to exchange looks) (smiles)

“Can we go fill up petrol first?”

“…huh? Yes. Of course. We can.”


“Jane, you’ve got to lower your standards. You can’t put everyone on a Stanford standard-“

“But I don’t! Really, I don’t.” 

“-because no one can live up to that.”


“I like to write.”

“So… fiction?”

“No. Creative nonfiction.”

“What! How is there even such a thing?! It’s either fiction – or nonfiction! There’s no in-between!”

“There is! It’s like 80% true – based on real facts – and 20% recreated, possibly fictionalized aspects.”

“So… like Abraham Lincoln the vampire slayer?”

“… … okay. Yeah, I guess that’s correct.”

“That still makes it overall fiction!”

“No! It’s creative nonfiction. … Okay, maybe. Kind of.”


“How many sibling do you have?”

“How many do you have?”

“Seven. Guess which number I am?”


“Oh! That’s correct. How did you guess?”

“You’re a little… spoilt.”


(an hour after we arrived back in Miri)

“We’ve arrived. Took us one hour.”

In a lower tone, “One hour… you can really talk…”

“I’m sorry… I’m chatty…”

“No, it’s okay…”

“I’m sorry… are you- are you the quiet type?”

A: (laughs) (shakes head)

“Cos I’m… not. I’m chatty… I always have things I think and want to talk about…”


“I’m glad I didn’t drive today… wow, it really rained all day…”

My older housemate, to him, “Thanks for joining us, and driving.”

N: (turns to look at him) 

“See? There’s a reason we spoke on Wednesday night!”

“Yeah, like you finally received enlightenment, isn’t it? ‘A isn’t such a tool and super blur after all…'”

“Oh, Jane. I think he really is offended that you called him ‘blur’ the other day…”

“But I didn’t mean ‘blur’ in a bad way…”


“Do you know anyone here?”

A: (shakes head) 

“Yeah, same here. I literally only know one person-“

He looked over with a smile, “And that’s why we’re here together.”


“If the next time I meet you, it rains again…”

“Girl. It’s the rainy season.” 


N: (enters car) (continues to talk)

“Oh look, a snake!”

“Huh? Where?”

N: (checks the surrounding of the car frantically)

“Oh… it was just a leaf…”


“See? I’m an optimist.”

“How does that make you an optimist? If you’re an optimist – you’d see something harmless, not a snake.”

“Cos I thought I saw a snake – but then I said, “Oh, it’s not! It’s just a leaf.”

“…if you put it that way…”


I feel like… why do I feel like… I’ve finally met… an equal match?


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