In liking a person who is wholly different – it’s like staring at my own polarizing mirror image – I’ve found myself sometimes wishing I am less emotional… less of an open book… less talkative… less busy… less loud… less- the list is endless.
“If you round up all your edges, you’ll lose your edge.”
I came across this sentence which I’d written and posted a year ago apparently, on Facebook, and stopped short at the weight of its truth. I remember telling Em last weekend – who was in KL for a brief weekend getaway – that though him and I are different like night and day when it comes to our personalities… “I actually like who I am!” I understand the ways in which we’re different, but when I put myself in perspective: I genuinely like the person that I am. Even if this person does wear her heart on her sleeves with a naivety that can get embarrassing, talks and thinks too much, and feels too deeply…
Honestly, I do wish I am less emotional so I would feel less, especially these days… but if I were to round up all my edges, then I would lose my edge… which would then make me not myself anymore… and that would not be fun. Because the truth is, more than the desire to be liked or loved for the person that I am; I want to be accepted as a whole person.
I want to be accepted for my edges – then loved in spite of it.