There are some moments in my life, like tonight, which I think of as sustenance for my soul for a yet unknown time in the future. Someday, I think to myself, when I am struggling or having a hard time… I will extricate these precious moments from my memory and remember of a time when I lived freely and genuinely, loved by the best of company.
It is officially T-2 months to K leaving The Company and Miri for good.
Two weeks ago, an old close friend pointed out that I talk about my ‘Miri friends’ with so much easy familiarity – “it’s like you’ve known each other for a long time” – that it made me pause. Then I nodded my head. “Found families,” I found myself replying. Over here I’ve learned that it’s not about how long we’ve known each other …but how much of each other we give and allow access to. In giving love, I’ve learned to receive generously as well. By opening up, I’ve learned to entrust a select few with the most authentic version of myself – this person who loves, speaks, and thinks too much; but they’d never have to wonder about the depth and sincerity of my love. This friendship circle has truly taught me that loving a person (or three) and building a friendship is not defined by the length of time that we’ve known each other; instead, the building blocks are a person’s character and depth, our chemistry and compatibility, and that crazy thing called fate and/or timing.
When I think of tonight, I remember why precious things (and people) are never for keepsake; there’s a reason they’re called treasures. Life as I’ve gotten used to it is about to revamp itself and in an emotionally trying time as I alternate between extremely happy and sad for these dearest friends – happy for their new opportunities and sad that I don’t get to keep them by my side – I remind myself of the wise words of my former housemate and still-dearest friend.
She’d said these to me one night some three years ago when I was very sad about graduating from undergrad. “Woman,” she begun her sentence as she does every time she addresses me, and vice versa, “The fact that you feel sad about closing a chapter means it was well-lived and meaningful. Isn’t this the best kind of parting?”
In this season of change, every moment spent together is precious.
“And we laugh and laugh and
All I know is
At this moment I feel like
I can do anything I want
and be anyone I want
and go anywhere on the globe
and still call it home.”
— Kirsten Smith