My work-life at times feels endlessly filled with high-fliers from my line manager to my project team lead to even my cousins – a siblings duo who also work in The Company – that in trying, constantly, to meet and keep up with expectations (project lead and boss) and on days like today when I realize my competency is still not where I think it should be… I remind myself that the only race I took part in and that mattered was the scholarship rat race (plot twist – I won at the last minute …twice).
In other words: their chapter 20 isn’t mine (and it shouldn’t be).
I tell myself that I do make conscious efforts to progress and despite living too much in my mind – my feet does move in parallel. Even if these efforts do not all translate to outcomes and results not always known, my actions and behavior are well-intentioned. I am, in every instance, authentic.
‘She tries’ – damn right.
Someday I want to look back at these bumbling, struggling, and low self-esteem days as the building blocks of the professional I’ll be (surely I’ll be) and know that I’d not only walked my own path, slow and winding though it was, but that I persevered. Resilient. Not ‘I survived’ rather ‘I made it through.’ I want to look back (with kindness) and know (with certainty) that I earned my keep; I’m someone I’m proud of.