A year ago, I wrote this.
A year later, I am writing this:
This whole week has been a week where I feel so out of my typical element yet realized that I am able to deliver even when I’m out of my element. A pleasant surprise.
The engineer who stayed back with me here at the vendor fabrication yard expressed astonishment several times this week whenever he, I think, realized that I’m in fact not all (again, I think) he thinks I am – and I’m there thinking, “Goodness. Just who and what do you take me for all this while?” I want to say I’m surprised he’s surprised but maybe this is all for the best – 2016 was a dormant year; 2017 an awakening and (self) ‘homecoming’.
The intricacies of the working world continues to break and humble me in waves and finding myself in the center of it all is uncomfortable. But discomfort is a good place to be when it comes to growth and personal integrity, isn’t it?
Conversations that go on with conclusions like “Forget personal integrity – it’s who you know” (sigh) some days I remind myself harder this that I’d replied to a colleague (who said flatly, “This is the way the world works – the boss is Boss”) that “Just because this is the way the world works doesn’t mean I have to like it, or accept it.”
A year ago, frustrated, I’d asked out loud and to no one in particular, “Must courage always roar?”
I’m glad I know with certainty, my footing and ground.