There was a colleague who, when I asked him why he left his ‘very lucrative and interesting’ first job years ago, hesitated and pondered for long seconds before answering, “Tak kena dengan jiwa” (Lit. Didn’t jive with my soul). He clarified that there was nothing wrong with the work and the place, but… he shook his head in contemplative silence and I nodded my head in mutual understanding. I hold onto this little story for reasons yet fully understood …a white lie; I understand, but unlike him, am afraid to act upon it.
Sometimes I wonder, genuinely, if I will spend the rest of my life forever desperately trying(failing) to fit in.