Putting this here because I want to remember these words and this feeling:
After 5 straight days of working till nighttime at platform then barge, today my body experienced an internal system shutdown so I called it a day early (at 530 PM haha) and enjoyed, finally, my favorite solitary activity offshore: an evening up at the helideck taking in God’s most magnificent painting – it is never the same twice no matter however many dusk I’d lived for. I look at the sunset this evening and realized I was also offshore a year ago, this same view yet oh wow, how much I have changed – grown – since.
In this industry, going offshore is a norm – but I was never and never wanted to be part of it. I never thought I’d be here. Yet here I am, initially desperate and determined to make the best of it cos I’ll be damned if I admit feeling regretful and stuck, now somehow increasingly nimble in navigating the environment, culture, and people (of course people). My vendors and the construction support team have expressed suprise finding out I’m only 27 – they’d thought I’m older or more senior; my theory is either I look older (entirely possible) or they just didn’t expect someone so young (…and female) to be at the frontline (we know the truth: it’s a small project). I also thought, huh. Maybe I did achieve a personal milestone I’d set out for myself 2.5 years ago? Carved in not bravery but desperation, it was: I’d do 5 years in 3.
Success, it’s true, looks different but equally enchanting on each person.
I’m here. I made it.
I’m allowed now to close this chapter.