A long list of what it is like in the inner recesses – still a maze and clouded by shame – of my mind and heart: “He’s just not that into you” “It feels like a rejection as an individual and it… hurts. I get it if you don’t like like me – but why … More Office Crush / Stranger Crush
I know this may seem like an odd exercise, but I like to think I’m safekeeping my blurbs and thoughts presented in words. Here’s a musing written on December 29, 2017: Some thoughts qon ‘self-love’ / ‘self-care’: As much as it’s important to be kind and to take care of ourselves, we really ought to … More “You can be sorry for yourself, but what are you doing about it?”
I’m thinking I’ll probably cry a little tonight over this weird shift, maybe loss, that I feel. Eldest Sis was right about everything – to gage the situation and how we, myself and him, feel at that particular instance and moment etc… I was very tired and extremely stressed because up until tonight, I’d been … More November: backward/forward.
i. The first time I listened to John Mayer’s song ‘In The Blood’ fresh from his latest album The Search for Everything, I cried. Then I played the song on loop, letting each word and feeling course through me with overwhelming familiarity. I’ve been there too, I thought to myself as if I was responding to … More exotic / endangered
Written last Friday night on June 14, 2017: Identity is a tricky thing. Whenever I think I’ve at long last gained it; there it slips away again. I think back to 3 weeks ago to the question my 12 year-old nephew had asked to Third Sis and myself – what if he denies any association … More cultural, identity baggage.
I have this belief, wayward and ridiculous though it may be, that if I don’t write something down – it doesn’t become Truth. Something isn’t real unless I put them in words. It has now been nearly a-year-and-a-half since the untying of a longstanding, tight knot. I am still unable to write it down, much … More January 11, 2016.
I confess that I often wonder if I am a no-fun kind of person – especially when I find myself having to talk myself (every damn time) to attend large-scale and/or networking events. I would always go (and hate myself for always end up going) only to constantly feel out of place no matter the … More the writer.
i. Yesterday my Eldest Bro spoke to me – over the phone, because he is awesome like that (he calls) – about personal integrity and reminded me, in his eldest brother way, not to give it up. That perhaps a place has its own values, good ones even – they’re simply not one-size-fits-all. One decides then … More misfit.
During our Friday night dinner last week – a treat for working really hard weeklong at the fabrication yard – my colleague asked whether I enjoyed my university life in the States. “Yes,” I answered immediately then mulled over his question for long seconds before continuing, “But it was…” I paused again, struggling to find … More ‘a period of searching’
These days, reading news about the US – it feels like the America I bid goodbye to nearly two years ago is a lot different than the America today. It is strange; disheartening and bizarre. It pains me. But I’m reminded of that chapter in my life when I finally came out of my Muslim-closet (after … More “But I’m reminded of that chapter in my life when I finally came out of my Muslim-closet-“