I’m going to try writing this down to find out if I can make sense of this ache… . I have struggled to fit in my whole life to the point it now feels like a lifetime predicament. Fitting in. How I loathe these 2 words. These days I wonder if it is a psychological … More ‘fitting in’: a lifetime predicament.
Trevor Noah reiterated several times in his fantastic memoir ‘Born A Crime’ that race is a social construct. I nodded my head each time that sentence appeared, yet no closer to unwinding my own views. More than the stories of his mother (who is amazing, naturally reminded me of mine) and his frank views on … More half-half / neither
I wonder if I always knew, whilst a child years ago, that I would find myself in a cyclic dilemma as an adult; one of borders and divides that I cannot and will not cross yet wonder what it would be like, how easy it would be, if only if only if only- Was that … More “I don’t know how to come in easy on the Muslim part.”
Does it happen to you, too? Sometimes I think I have so much longing… wanting… that I don’t know where to place them except on the prayer mat to God, who is All-Knowing and All-Merciful. My prayers become long, often jumbled up with thoughts at loose, and emotions so deeply stirring yet confusing that I’d … More forever in the season of change.
My senior-colleague-friend asked two nights ago, “Would you be open to date a non-Muslim person, if one came along?” “I would,” I answered. I went on to tell her about how my answer would have been the total opposite just a year ago. What I didn’t tell her was that despite my recent openness, the … More a love (un)imagined(able).
Ending tonight with a fresh one – sort of. Borrowed words which resonate strongly back in November of last year… all good now – funny how little I care now, and I mean this factually – and glad these words are a keeper. “Sometimes people walk away from love because it is so beautiful that … More “May we grieve loss without personalizing it;”
Through with December; here’s the last one from December 3, 2017! Eldest Sis, on friendship: “Find yourself friends who will be anchors. I don’t mean that you always have to stick by each other; what I mean is friends who will ground you – through the years, and times.” — [Photo of my Miri faves] … More “Find yourself friends who will be anchors.”
Another woeful piece written in December – on the 10th, to be precise -: Eldest Sis believes strongly in this particular quote: “I think a man does what he can, until his destiny is revealed.” — from The Last Samurai (2003) The quote came to my mind again last night when I joined Mum for … More “I think a man does what he can, until his destiny is revealed.”
A piece I wrote on December 11, 2017 – an ode to (forever my) Housemate #1: “I won’t call it regret… maybe wonderment. A series of what ifs – what if I tried harder? What if I stayed back for a few more years? I’m not envious of others’ good news, that I’m clear – … More “So when you hear of others’ good news, you shouldn’t feel shorthanded-“
One of my favorite year-end musing – here’s from December 17, 2017: A rainy Sunday-evening-in-December confession: 2017 is yet another year of confronting cultural emotional baggage and continued confusion of my longtime ocean of identity crisis where I’m neither quite this nor that, thus never quite accepted or comfortable in either. I recently told Eldest … More cultural emotional baggage.